I'm using the term 'fit' loosely....

For any speculation that might arise, I use the term fit as a loose term. I'll never compete in an NPC bikini competition and I will not likely lose any large amount of weight. When I say I gained 20 pounds since around this time last year, keep in mind that I had a RAGING violent stomach flu that accounted for around fifteen of those lb's. I have a tendency to have changes with how my body looks tone-wise, yet have little fluctuation on any actual weight. And I'm pretty hard on myself about it, but I'm working on coming to the realization that if I gain a little or lose a little here and there due to being sick or gorging on vacation, but come back to the weight I tend to hover at on an every day basis..... Perhaps this is the size that God intended for me to be. And I'm not big. I usually fluctuate between 140-144 pounds or so which feels like a lot when I step on the scale... But I wear a size 4. Trying to UNbrainwash yourself is a task in itself but I'm bound and determined to do it. We should be proud of the strength of our bodies and not feel like a number on a scale defines us! For those of you that don't know me personally, here's a picture of what 144lbs looks like. Hopefully this will help someone out there put it into perspective?